The most trying of times as a mother

When we think of our time as mothers, we remember the joys that our children bring. When we look back on pregnancy, we try not to remember any pain or problems. We try to focus on the joy that was involved. Those moments of wiggling bodies, the hand or foot print sonogram. But what to do you focus on when those moments never came?
16 weeks ago, we were expecting a set of twins. We were very much trying not to get pregnant when we conceived. They were a major surprise. At 14 weeks, we had our first ultrasound to confirm that we were indeed having twins. Everything looked great, health little bundles of twin joy.
2 weeks later, we lost them. Never got to feel the movement inside, the joy of their first cries. Instead we got the experience of pain, doubled by the loss. Doubled by the loss of not only one child but of two. We would be 32 weeks along right now. I would look like the good year blimp.
I struggle almost daily with the images in my head. I would be making sure that everything was ready, everything was stocked, and that our hospital bag and plans were ready to go. Instead I try not to think of the time. Try not to recall the feelings I was having with my other 3 wonderful children. I try not to think about the odds that I would be having two more children in the next few weeks. Try not to think about the wonders that I lost.
The only think that I have found that helps, is to spend more time with my children. More time creating memories that I want to have, less time remembering what I want to forget. But here is the silver lining, I will see my babies again. I will be able to meet them when I get to heaven, in a very long time from now. Trials make us stronger, God never leaves our side, his strength can become ours if we only let him in.

Girly Summer Fun

As the temperatures started to reach into the 90s my kids and I started looking for a way to cool off. I needed to weed the weed bed, I mean flower bed.  So i turned on the hose, hooded up the nozzle, amd the kids went at it!

Remington LOVES to spray herself with the water! She would hold the hose and splash her face, loved it! The boys try to spray her feet, she SCREAMMMMMMMMMMS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Kids are awesome!

I LOOOVVVVEEEE POPCORN!!!!!!

Lunch time, better go fix the kids something to eat. I know they are enjoying a little snack of some popcorn, but they are eating like a blackhole today. Sucking in everything around them regardless of what it is or who it belongs to.

"Remmy! Dont eat my popcorn!"

There is no way she crawled all the way across the floor to get to the boys popcorn. She was clear across the room, and she hasnt even started to crawl yet. Better go check on her anyway! I enter the front room to a smile, and a handfull of popcorn getting shoveled into her mouth.

How she got that far that fast, i will never know. But I do know that she LOVES popcorn!